The Unmanly Deed
by ohsweetstupidity
Summary: When Clare sends Eli on a trip to get her feminine hygiene products and Adam is dragged along, hilarity ensues. Eli/Clare. One-shot.


**The Unmanly Deed**

_"I ran out of my '_feminine hygiene products,'_ can you go buy me some?"_

Sighing, Eli ran a hand through his dark hair as he sat in his hearse. If it weren't for how cute Clare looked when she blushed and that _adorable_ look of embarrassment on her face when she asked, he never would've agreed to this.. _madness_! How could he, Eli Goldsworthy, march into a store and purchase the most unmanliest product ever invented? That's surely suicide to his ego.

An imaginary lightbulb lit up over Eli's head as a thought came to him. Adam might be able to help! after all, he was born in a girl's body so he must know a thing or two about feminine hygiene products.

So with that, Eli pulled out his phone from his pocket, dialed Adam's numbered, and waited for him to answer.

After two rings Adam picked up, "Hello?"

"Be outside your house, I'll be there in ten."

"For wha—" Eli hung up the phone before Adam could ask any questions. He started Morty and pulled out onto the street from Clare's house, and drove towards Adam's.

Just as Eli said, in ten minutes he arrived at Adam's house. He pulled up in front and rolled down his window, "Hey!"

Adam rose from sitting on his front steps and jogged over to Eli's car. He leaned forward and placed his arms on the open window, "So, what's this all about?"

"'What's up, Eli? How's your day?' Good, Adam, thanks for asking," Sarcasm dripped from Eli's voice.

Adam rolled his eyes, "So?"

"I need your help."

"Oh boy," Adam sighed, "With Clare?"

"Uh, yeah," Eli spoke, he started to feel awkward. How could he ask Adam without Adam making fun of him or things just getting plain awkward? "I need to buy something for her."

"Flowers? Chocolates? A stuffed animal?" Adam suggested.

Eli shook his head, "Not the kind of _something_ I was talking about."

"Ok then, what?"

Eli shifted his eyes around uncomfortably, "Ihavetobuyherpads," He said quickly under his breath.

Confusion took over Adam's face, "Come again?"

Eli sighed, avoiding eye contact, "I have to buy her pads." Eli didn't hear a peep from Adam so he slowly glanced at his friend. Eli couldn't read his expression, Adam was staring at him blankly.

Suddenly, Adam's mouth opened up as he tilted his head back and let out a long string of laughter.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up." Eli said as he gave his friend a glare.

"I just can't picture a dark and mysterious person like you picking up a box of tampons!" Adam said between laughs.

"Me either," Eli said miserably as he slightly sank in his seat. "That's why I need your help."

Adam's laughter died down as he wiped a tear away from his eye, "Because it's in the name of love, I'll help you."

Eli rolled his eyes, "Just get in the car!"

Adam walked around the front of the car to the passenger's side, opened the door, and got in, "So which store are we headed to?"

"One far, far away so nobody can see," Eli said as he pulled out into the road.

Adam chuckled, "Good idea."

XXXX

Eli and Adam arrived at a store right outside of Toronto. The automatic doors opened as they walked in. Eli surveyed the place. Not too many people which meant less embarrassment for him.

Feeling slightly relieved, Eli walked further into the store with Adam following. He read each sign hanging from the ceiling that told which aisle it was, searching for the aisle he needed, "I'm assuming its in the 'beauty supplies' aisle," He said as he spotted the sign.

Adam chuckled, "Oh no, my friend, not the beauty aisle," He grabbed Eli just as he was going to walk into the beauty aisle. Adam guided Eli past the beauty aisle and after a few more aisles, they came to a stop.

Eli's jaw dropped, "There's a whole frickin' section dedicated to pads and tampons?"

"You bet," Adam said as he shoved Eli into the aisle.

Eli looked around. It seemed like there were pads and tampons for miles and miles. There were so many different kinds. Tampax Pearl. Playtex Sport. Always Ultra Thin. U by Kotex. Kotex Lightdays.

So. Many.

"What are maxi pads? Or flexi-wings?" Eli asked as he skimmed a couple packs of pads. He spotted a box of tampons, "Should I get her super plus?"

Adam quickly shook his head, "Don't."

"Then what? You're supposed to be helping me here, Adam." He said, pointing to the shelf of tampons.

Adam walked over to Eli, "Step aside," Eli put his hands up in defeat and stepped back. Adam began to examine the shelf, "What we need to figure out before we pick out anything is, does Clare use tampons or pads?"

When Adam didn't receive an answer, he turned around to look at Eli. Eli just shrugged and gave him a 'Beats me' look.

"We'll just get her pads. If we're wrong, you're going to feel the wrath of PMSing Clare, not me." Adam said as he turned back around to the shelf.

"Great, I'll be looking forward to that," Eli replied sarcastically.

As Adam searched for a pack of pads he thought would be good for Clare, Eli paced up and down the aisle. Occasionally he'd look over his back just to make sure no one he knew was there. It would be the death of his pride and ego of anyone saw he and Adam there.

"This'll do," Adam announced. Eli walked over to peek over Adam's shoulder at his selection.

"Always Regular with Flexi-wings," Eli read the label on the package, "I have no clue what that means, but sounds good to me."

"No way!"

Eli and Adam froze at the sound of a familiar voice. Could it be...? No it couldn't be. Life can't be that cruel.

... Or can it?

Eli and Adam looked to their right. Standing there with the biggest grins on their faces were Fitz and Owen.

Clearly, life _can_ be that cruel.

"Aww, Emo boys helping his dear he/she friend pick out some tampons for herself!" Fitz taunted.

Owen added, "How cute!"

Eli's face twisted into a pissed off glare, "Actually, they're for my _girlfriend_. Something you'd know nothing about."

Fitz and Own each let out a laugh. "Oh, so now Adam, or I should say _Chelsea_, is your girlfriend? I always had a feeling you guys had a thing going on," Owen said.

"Poor Clare. Guess I'm gonna be the one to comfort her and make her feel better, if you know what I mean," Fitz winked.

Eli felt his blood boiling. He wanted to take on both Fitz and Owen. They shouldn't get away with talking bad about his best friend Adam. And Fitz shouldn't even think of touching Clare in any way.

Adam put a hand on Eli's shoulder, "Let's just pay for these and go. There's no need for a showdown in the tampon aisle."

Eli was still very angry, but he knew Adam was right. Plus, Clare was waiting for him. It wasn't a good idea to keep Clare waiting, especially because she was on her period. Not good at all. He nodded his head and said, "Ok."

Eli took the pack of pads out Adam's hand and began to walk out of the aisle, toward check out. As he walked by Fitz and Owen, he gave them a hard glare. He felt no more embarrassment for being a good boyfriend and getting her the pads. Adam followed his lead. They paid for the pads and finally left the store.

Eli dropped Adam off at his house and thanked him for coming along and helping him. Now it was time to head to Clare's house.

XXXX

Eli pulled up to the front of Clare's house. He took the keys out and Morty shut off. Grabbing the plastic bag containing the pack of pads, he got out of the car and walked up to Clare's front door. He rang the doorbell and waited for her to open the door.

When she finally opened the door, Eli smirked. Clare was wearing dark gray sweatpants, a plain black t-shirt, the curls in her hair were loose making her hair length slightly longer, and there wasn't a trace of makeup on her face, not that Clare wore much anyway. Eli was blown away by her beauty.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Clare questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Eli stepped a little closer to her, causing her to turn a light shade of red, "You look absolutely beautiful."

Clare looked down at her socks, cheeks still burning, "T-thanks."

The smirk on Eli's face grew. He found it so cute how easily he could make her blush. Then he remembered the plastic bag in his hand, "Here, for you," He lifted the plastic bag towards her.

She grabbed the bag from him, and with her other hand she boldly grabbed his face and gave him a kiss. When she pulled away, she said, "Thank you so much, I hope it wasn't too much trouble."

"You have no idea," Eli said, thoughts of his difficulty picking out which pads to get her and his encounter with Fitz and Owen coming to his head.

Clare's smile dropped, "I'm sorry, next time I'll just wait for my m—"

"No need, you're worth the trouble. I'll do it any time you need me to." Eli was staring straight into Clare's eyes with a smile adorning his face.

She felt her heart flutter, "Ok."

After a few moments of silence, Eli asked, "Well are we going to stand here all day or are you going to invite me in?"

"Oh, right!" Clare moved aside so Eli could come in. The smirk returned to Eli's face and he sauntered into her home. Clare closed the door behind them.

* * *

**The moral of this story:** Always be a gentleman and get your girl a pad if she needs one, there's really no need to be embarrassed :) And also, if you think your girl looks beautiful in sweatpants, hair tied, chillin' with no makeup on (Haha, Drake a.k.a. wheelchair Jimmy) then you're a keeper :)

So, I started writing this a long time ago but I just finished today (Snow day, no school :) wooo hooo!) but I feel like it could've came out a lot better. The ending kinda sucked in my opinion. I was just so eager to get this out. But anyway, please review and tell me what you think :)

P.S. I was thinking of maybe doing some kind of fantasy-type story for Eli/Clare, do you think I should? Let me know in a review! Suggestions would be good too


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